Frank's Movie Log

Quality reviews of films of questionable quality.
  1. 24 Oct 2016

    The Pit

    Backdrop placeholder

    3 Stars (out of 5) The Pit careens between laughable and disturbing.

  2. 17 Oct 2016

    Phantasm

    Backdrop placeholder

    4 Stars (out of 5) I was still watching Saturday morning cartoons and struggling with cursive writing when I first saw Phantasm. It traumatized me.

  3. 10 Oct 2016

    Mars Attacks!

    Backdrop placeholder

    3 Stars (out of 5) Mars Attacks! could have been awful but settles for mediocre.

  4. 03 Oct 2016

    Riders of Destiny

    Backdrop placeholder

    2 Stars (out of 5) Riders of Destiny is not a good movie, but it is an important one.

  5. 26 Sep 2016

    The Witch

    Backdrop placeholder

    5 Stars (out of 5) The Witch gets better with each viewing.

  6. 19 Sep 2016

    Ride Him, Cowboy

    Backdrop placeholder

    2 Stars (out of 5) In Ride Him, Cowboy, a town puts a horse on trial for attempted murder. This may not be the film's most ridiculous scene.

  7. 12 Sep 2016

    Don't Breathe

    Backdrop placeholder

    2 Stars (out of 5) The more I think about Don't Breathe, the less I like it.

  8. 05 Sep 2016

    Haunted Gold

    Backdrop placeholder

    1 Star (out of 5) I like John Wayne, but I struggled with Haunted Gold.

  9. 29 Aug 2016

    Suicide Squad

    Backdrop placeholder

    1 Star (out of 5) You'd think an ancient demon threatening armageddon would be hard to forget, but Suicide Squad proves otherwise.

  10. 19 Aug 2016

    The Killer Nun

    Backdrop placeholder

    2 Stars (out of 5) For a nunsploitation picture, boredom is a cardinal sin.

  11. 17 Feb 2016

    Chain Lightning

    Backdrop placeholder

    2 Stars (out of 5) The skin-tight flight suit is a bridge too far.

  12. 06 Feb 2016

    Black Mass

    Backdrop placeholder

    2 Stars (out of 5) Based on a true story, Black Mass sees Johnny Depp made up as a balding and paunchy James “Whitey” Bulger. The film follows Bulger’s ascent from small-time hood to crime-lord of South Boston. A journey made possible by the FBI.

  13. 25 Nov 2015

    The House That Dripped Blood

    Backdrop placeholder

    3 Stars (out of 5) Reviewing anthology movies is hard. I picture you, dear reader, trudging through endless paragraphs of plot synopsis and I feel guilty. I have let you down.

  14. 21 Sep 2015

    Big City Blues

    Backdrop placeholder

    3 Stars (out of 5) I watched Big City Blues because it features an early, uncredited performance from Humphrey Bogart. Given the film’s obscurity, my expectations were low.

  15. 19 Sep 2015

    The Whip and the Body

    Backdrop placeholder

    3 Stars (out of 5) Any film starring Christopher Lee as a ghost whipping a half-nude woman as she moans in ecstasy can’t be all bad.

  16. 18 Sep 2015

    I, Monster

    Backdrop placeholder

    2 Stars (out of 5) “He would be the most dangerous human being on earth. A monster.”

  17. 05 Sep 2015

    Two Evil Eyes

    Backdrop placeholder

    3 Stars (out of 5) Skip the first half of Two Evil Eyes. Or at least watch the second half first.

  18. 29 Aug 2015

    Shock Waves

    Backdrop placeholder

    2 Stars (out of 5) The four survivors planned to hole up in the abandoned hotel’s vault-like refrigerator. It was a good plan, considering the squad of undead, water-breathing Nazi storm troopers lurking outside. Then one survivor gets claustrophobic and fires a signal flare into the refrigerator. That’s where Shock Waves lost me.

More from Frank's Movie Log
  1. Maniac Cop
    3 Stars (out of 5)
  2. Hell Is for Heroes
    4 Stars (out of 5)
  3. Inside Out
    3 Stars (out of 5)
  4. The Searchers
    5 Stars (out of 5)